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My happiness is mine, and their happiness is theirs

Sunday, 15 November 2015

Following recent circumstances and one rainy weekend immersed within the 'romance' section on Netflix, I've found myself thinking a lot about love and loss.

I've not had the best of luck when it comes to love and I've more often then not been on the receiving end of a break up.

Looking back, when faced with the person I (supposedly) loved not feeling the same way, all I thought about was what I was losing. How I would feel if they left.

When relationships come to an end - especially if you don't want it to - we seem to become selfish.

We think about the way we're feeling and what we're losing.

As well as one too many rom-coms I also recently witnessed a breakup within my extended family.

Listening to others reactions and opinions really made me see things differently.

Majority of the opinions I heard were along the lines of...

"Why do people find it so easy to leave"

"You just don't do that when there are children involved!"

My younger self definitely would've agreed with this.

I remember me and my little sister when we were younger planning what we'd do if our mum and dad ever separated and met someone else. Our plans were awful - we'd clearly watched the parent trap far too many times.

But now, I see things differently...

Whether you have a family or not. Whether children are involved or not; a relationship is still the combination of two individual people.

Two minds, two hearts, two sets of feelings. 

Just because you're a member of a family it doesn't mean you lose all sense of yourself and it certainly doesn't mean you need to sacrifice your feelings.

I totally understand that a break up will involve a lot of anger and hurt - especially when the decision is one sided. But what about how that person will feel if they stay?

A relationship should be positive. It should be something that adds to your life. It should make a positive impact. If ever it stops making you happy or begins to impact your life negatively then it is okay to leave.

Although break ups will always be difficult and upsetting, if ever I find myself on the receiving end of  another break up I think that now, maybe id see it differently.

My happiness is mine and their happiness is theirs.

Find what makes you happy and never be scared to say goodbye to the things that no longer do that.

Life Update: I moved to Bournemouth!!

Monday, 9 November 2015

Since my last post back in August my blog has been very much neglected; consisting of half finished drafts and half hearted posts that found themselves being binned just hours after completion. 

Yes i've been shit and lazy but i've also been really really busy.

Way back in February, in my first ever blog post, I mentioned an upcoming interview for the arts university Bournemouth. 600 people applied for my course and with only 60 places available I attended my interview doubtful i'd be considered.

I obviously did something right as at the end of August  I was offered a place and on the 7th of September I made the move down to Bournemouth. 

The first month was crazy. I was busy constantly, either spending time with new friends or exploring my new home and then came freshers. It was the most amazing experience but oh my god anyone doubting freshers flu as an actual thing - its so real and it feels like death. 

Late september I started my actual course - receiving my makeup kit was the best part of the whole thing. Its amazing! I'm thinking about creating a post about my kit and the products within so let me know if thats something you'd like to see!

I'm studying makeup for media and performance and as well as providing us with the necessary skills  the course also aims to prepare us for industry, the hours and the pressure that comes with it. Most weeks I'm uni 9:30 - 4:30 five days a week - and then after uni I spend the entire evening writing up my work and completing any work we've been given to do at home. 

I've been here for just over two months now and as things are settling down I want to get back into my blog. I never wanted to stop I just really didn't have the time to create content that was good enough to put out there.

Thank you for bearing with me! 

See you all soon x

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