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My happiness is mine, and their happiness is theirs

Sunday, 15 November 2015

Following recent circumstances and one rainy weekend immersed within the 'romance' section on Netflix, I've found myself thinking a lot about love and loss.

I've not had the best of luck when it comes to love and I've more often then not been on the receiving end of a break up.

Looking back, when faced with the person I (supposedly) loved not feeling the same way, all I thought about was what I was losing. How I would feel if they left.

When relationships come to an end - especially if you don't want it to - we seem to become selfish.

We think about the way we're feeling and what we're losing.

As well as one too many rom-coms I also recently witnessed a breakup within my extended family.

Listening to others reactions and opinions really made me see things differently.

Majority of the opinions I heard were along the lines of...

"Why do people find it so easy to leave"

"You just don't do that when there are children involved!"

My younger self definitely would've agreed with this.

I remember me and my little sister when we were younger planning what we'd do if our mum and dad ever separated and met someone else. Our plans were awful - we'd clearly watched the parent trap far too many times.

But now, I see things differently...

Whether you have a family or not. Whether children are involved or not; a relationship is still the combination of two individual people.

Two minds, two hearts, two sets of feelings. 

Just because you're a member of a family it doesn't mean you lose all sense of yourself and it certainly doesn't mean you need to sacrifice your feelings.

I totally understand that a break up will involve a lot of anger and hurt - especially when the decision is one sided. But what about how that person will feel if they stay?

A relationship should be positive. It should be something that adds to your life. It should make a positive impact. If ever it stops making you happy or begins to impact your life negatively then it is okay to leave.

Although break ups will always be difficult and upsetting, if ever I find myself on the receiving end of  another break up I think that now, maybe id see it differently.

My happiness is mine and their happiness is theirs.

Find what makes you happy and never be scared to say goodbye to the things that no longer do that.

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